Monday, February 20, 2012


I have tears drying on my face right now because of this, put up by my dear friend and older brother, Will Yaryan.

Watching the high resolution sweep over different parts of a city that I've spent years learning to know made Bangkok seem so close, which it is--15 hours. I came back to the states with a firm intention to return for visits at least once a year, and I've only been back for less than seven months.

Someone who has never been to Bangkok won't be moved to tears by this panoramic view of a sprawling city. What did it for me was the blur of traffic on the expressways--going, always moving, so many lives whooshing past on those arterials, and in that weird time split that I described in my last post, I was one of those lives as well as the person who watched.

I've just finished a book that describes much of my last installment of my relationship with Bangkok and how it has changed over the past 16 years--as much as I have myself.. Anyone who is curious can read some of that history here on this blog, where I tried to be as honest as possible about my time in a place I love.

My feelings for Bangkok are no longer starry-eyed, as they were for the time I wrote about in my first book. But they are very deep and very strong and they still tie me to that place--all of it. I've lived and worked and explored in many areas that aren't glitzy--those are my favorite parts of the city. That's what came to mind as I lapsed into tears and that's where I will spend most of my time when I go back to visit.

It's an unfinished relationship that exists between Bangkok and me and I know it's never going to be over. Whether I live there or go back on visits, that city will always be partly mine.

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