The Death of Appetite

Mushroom foie gras ice cream, anyone? Imagine it. "The chunks of mushroom somehow managing to taste like, well mushrooms, yet still marry with sweet vanilla ice cream, while the foie gras got lost in the tofu caramel topping."

Still with me here? Bay leaf ginger ice cream with the bay leaf left whole, giving "permission to chomp into it," is another choice, and gee is it ever tempting.

But that's only dessert. Before we reach that point, we have the joy of eating curry chicken wings that have been embellished with Nutella, and drinking a lager brewed with mashed fruit cake--and this is where I checked the date on Nicole Sprinkle's review in the current issue of the Seattle Weekly. (I know, I know, but I'd run out of the backs of cereal boxes to read.) Was it really April Fool's Day? Had I slept through most of February and all of March?

Apparently not. We really can enjoy all of these brave new taste sensations in Amazonville. Ooops, I meant to say Allentown. No, it's South Lake Union, hush my mouth. And what's more, the establishment where these delicacies are being served is called Mollusk.

I don't know about you, but to me mollusk conjures up a slug. Maybe that's just me, and you know? Maybe slugs are delicious with Nutella and mashed fruit cake. Somehow I think this restaurant might just have that on the menu soon. Can't wait.

This is not an unknown trend here in our trendy city. Not too long ago I bought a serving of blue cheese ice cream from a spot on Chophouse Row. I don't know why I did it. I hate cheese and ended up spitting the little chunks of Roquefort (perhaps?) into a napkin as I walked through Capital Hill. Maybe it was because last year I tried banana and cheese ice cream in Bangkok and lived to tell the tale. You see, I really am an adventurous eater, but there are some things that go beyond a joke and chunks of mushroom covered with tofu caramel sauce is one of them.

"Peculiar," Sprinkle dubs it. Fare for bulimics is my assessment. But then I am a crotchety old baby boomer. What the hell do I know?