2. Do not think the groceries in a small country store are capable of sustaining life as you know it.
3. Do not embark upon a rural adventure without bringing drugs.
4. And a chauffeur.
5. A gigolo who also drives would be even better.
6. Remember--sleep is your friend--indulge as much as possible.
7. Green is only a restful color in very small doses.
8. Too much green is a clear indication that something is probably rotting.
9. Try not to think that what is decaying is probably a large portion of your brain.
10. Be grateful that even in the deep woods, there is still internet access.